


Let It Go

by bobasheebaby



Series: Learning to Breathe [5]
Category: The Royal Romance (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-22 23:20:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20330167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobasheebaby/pseuds/bobasheebaby
Summary: Riley gets an unexpected gift.





	Let It Go

**Author's Note:**

> Song inspiration: Let It Go by Tim McGraw

Riley absentmindedly picked at the food Hana had brought up earlier. She barely had an appetite, and would happily continue to avoid eating anything but she now had to think about someone else. She popped a piece of fresh melon into her mouth as her eyes drifted around the room. She froze as her eyes landed on a pot of miniature sunflowers that hadn’t been there earlier in the day. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice as fresh tears sprang to her eyes. _How?_ The fork slipped through her fingers, clattering as it landed on the tray, she didn’t flinch, didn’t blink, her eyes still trained on the pot of her favorite flowers. She’d only mentioned that sunflowers were her favorite flowers to one person, the one person they couldn’t be from. _I watched him die…_

Drake had been the only one she told how she loved to dance in the field of sunflowers on her grandparents farm as a little girl.

_“Why do you like sunflowers so much?”_

_“They remind me of my grandparents. My grandmother loved them so much they planted an entire field of them on their farm.” She smiled as she thought of her grandmothers words. “She said they looked like they were tracing the sun’s path in the sky, only coming alive for the sun. Her words stuck with me, she said that the sunflower loved the sun so much it followed it.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I know that sounds silly, but to love something that much…” She trailed off. _Please don’t think I mean Liam… _“I used to dance between the seemingly never ending rows of sunflowers, I don’t know what compelled me, they just always made me feel happy and I guess as a kid when I was happy I would dance.” She nervously bit her lip as she looked up at him through her lashes. “I know it sounds stupid…”_

_“It doesn’t sound stupid.”_

_She smiled, she never told anyone exactly why she loved sunflowers before, but she just felt so connected to him, she knew he’d understand. _

She stared at the pot containing at least half a dozen miniature sunflowers. _Don’t be stupid it was just a coincidence. _How would anyone else know her favorite flowers? _They are in a pot not cut. _How did they know she preferred living plants to fresh cut flowers? _He must have told someone. _

*

Bastien sighed as he wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand, his eyes surveying the area, checking his work. It wasn’t part of the job description, but he felt he owed it Drake to make sure Riley received her present.

_Bastien arched his brow in question. “Why exactly are we planting sunflowers?”_

_“They’re Riley’s favorite flower, and I wanted to surprise her.”_

_“I’m sure you’ve heard of a florist.” He teased, he knew if Drake was planting this many rows of flowers there must be a reason. _

_Drake chuckled shaking his head. “Riley doesn’t like cut flowers. She says she likes to watch them grow and bloom, she doesn’t like to watch them wither and wilt in a vase.” He ran a hand through his shaggy hair. “She has all these memories of dancing in a field of sunflowers, the way her eyes light up when talking about it…” He shrugged. “I can’t explain it but I just want to see her eyes light up like that every day.” He looked around the open space around the freshly tilled earth. “I’d love to put a gazebo out here, and maybe a swing set so she can sit and just watch the sunflowers trace the sun’s path in the sky and our kids playing at the same time.”_

_Bastien placed his hand on Drake’s shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll love it.”_

_“Yea, too bad they won’t be up in time for our wedding.” He shrugged his shoulders. “A late wedding present is better than none.”_

_“Drake, It doesn’t matter if it’s late, she’s lucky to have you. It’s not every husband that would pay such close attention.”_

_Drake nodded._

_“I’m glad you found someone who you love so much.”_

_Drake smiled. “Yea, I really love her, I’d give my life for hers.”_

_Bastien shook his head. “Let’s keep the heroics to a minimum.”_

_“No promises Bas.”_

Bastien hung his head as he finished surveying his job, Drake shouldn’t have had to give his life for hers. _I’ll make sure she gets them Drake, don’t you worry. _He’d already made sure to get her a pot of miniature sunflowers for her room as she was always staying cooped up inside._ I will make sure nothing happens to her or your child. _He heaved a heavy sigh, the guilt once more curling around his heart, he was the reason Drake wouldn’t be giving her his present himself. He was the reason that Drake would miss out on watching their child grow. The least he could do was make sure he did a better job in keeping Drake’s family safe than he had with Drake. _I may have failed you once but I won’t do it again, I promise you I’ll do a better job of keeping them safe. _

*

“Riley, you really need to eat.” Hana sighed as she took in Riley’s barely touched tray, bringing her a new tray that would most likely also be neglected.

“I did eat… a little.” Riley replied not tearing her eyes from the pot of sunflowers.

Hana sat on the edge of the bed, her heart aching for her friend. “Riley I know you miss him, but you have to take care of yourself and the baby.”

“Peanut.”

“What?”

“Peanut, Drake would call the baby peanut. Our little peanut he’ll never get to meet because of Liam.”

“Riley…”

“Where’d these sunflowers come from?”

Hana turned, small smile forming on her lips brought on by the cheerful pot of flowers. “Bastien brought them in, aren’t they pretty?”

_Bastien. Of course Drake would have told Bastien. _“Did he say why he brought them in?”

“He said they were a smaller part of a bigger wedding present I think.”

Riley tore her eyes from the pot of flowers, turning to stare at Hana. “What wedding present?” Tears formed in her hazel eyes, her throat turning tight as she spoke.

“Just something he said Drake planned.” She placed a gentle hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Oh Riley. It will be okay.”

Tears streamed down her porcelain cheeks. “Do you know what it is?” _What could Drake have been planning? Why tell me now? Why did he have to die? _She squeezed her eyes shut. _I miss you so much Drake._

The curtains surrounding her enormous bed rippled as by blown by a gentle wind. _I’m right here Riley. _

She felt a pang in her chest. _No you aren’t, not really, not how I need. You will never hold me again. _A chill ran down her spine. She shook her head, she needed to find a way to let him go, a way to be able to move forward, even if she knew it would hurt like hell to do so.

Hana shook her head. “He didn’t tell me.” She looked down as her phone vibrated. “He says I should take you out on your balcony.”

Riley’s heart thundered in her chest. She hadn’t stepped foot on her balcony since before… As much as she enjoyed the view, her last night spent there was too strong a memory. She slowly nodded, as she swallowed the lump forming in her throat. _You can do it. You have to move forward, for peanut._ She took a slow deep breath as she stood, trying desperately to be strong enough for whatever she was about to walk into.

She followed Hana onto the balcony, the sounds of the waterfall washing over her, filling her with temporary peace and calm. She glanced around, unable to see anything that was different from months before. _What exactly am I supposed to see?_

Hana gasped beside her, grabbing onto her arm. “Riley, look!” She pulled her towards the end of the balcony.

Riley’s eyes went wide as rows and rows of sunflowers filled her vision. Dozens of plants, with their stems and petals stretched high reaching for the sun. _Oh Drake. _She pulled her arms up, wrapping them around her middle as if she were giving herself a hug.

Hana turned to her friend. “Oh Riley are you okay.”

Riley nodded, the knot in her chest slowly unraveling. _He remembered._ “I’m fine.” _Thank you Drake._

Her hair ruffled on a breeze. _You’re welcome Riley. I will always love you, but it’s okay to let go. _

Fresh tears welled in her eyes, though she felt wrapped in a slight sense of peace. She smiled at the small field of sunflowers, the joy they always brought her washing over her. _Thank you for making sure I got them Bastien._ She wiped at her cheeks, her hand instinctively resting on her tiny bump. _I’ll be okay, we’ll be okay. _


End file.
